Date: 2018-02-14 14:30
dear Aphrodite,re my question about mature men mid 55s and over (does all this apply to them)- it seems many men (not just 6 or 7)I come into contact with on net dating have a big problem with me casually dating other men. They dont seem to comprehend that is why I am on here- to chat to and to go out and meet lots of men! In the olden days- when he was young, a man met one woman and there was no competition- he slowly got to know her and things were safe for him to persue in his own way and own time. But with internet dating there are so many available options- a woman is chatting online to perhaps a few or more at once, a coffee here, a movie there. I have found if I tell a man Im doing this (and I stress to him, there is no sex involved with the others) they get oh so possesive, and say- well I only chat to one at a time and date one at a time, and another said, well I certainly wont be out looking for somebody better! I have been dumped after 7 real wonderful dates as I had just met a new prospect I wanted to me this is coming from a position of FEAR and a complete lack of self esteem. I have even in the first few chats had men who ask how many contacts have you got/ are you seeing anyone else/ and some really nice men whose profiles I found appealing delete me when I tell them what Im doing.
I feel my intentions are misunderstood. Im genuinely searching for a life partner, but they are treating me like a floosy. Do I need to give reassurance? How can I teach them the new way of doing things? Ive learned from you I will not allow anyone to rule my love life, and I make the choices for me- I wont stand for possesive or controlling behaviour- am I being WAY TOO HONEST??? I am learning not to tell them so much about what Im doing. Yes I know what you are going to say- do they tell me what they are doing and the answer is only want 6 girl at a time and I feel they are hopelessly genuine.
This may also be a cultural thing- in Australia men have the attitude of if Im seeing you you dont go with anyone else mature men, who havnt dated for many years who are now divorced need to learn the new way of doing things. The internet is a whole new ball game, but they are still playing by their old have been sitting at their computer for years and they have got nowhere doing their one at a time mentality!! I really believe this to be a mature age problem- *censored* people are growing up with social media, and are used to going out with others- older men are lost in the jungle.
Please mature ladies put your comments and suggestions on here if you have encountered this problem with your dating. HELP!!! peace to you, from wise owl.
Hi Mirror - I m really confused about this Gemini guy and would love to hear what you think.
He actually messaged me last year, but I barely remember him.
Since he was persistent this time around (he wrote, I m going to keep messaging you until I get through, *censored* ), I decided to chat a bit.
When he asked if I wanted to grab a coffee, I kind of dance around it, because I am not ready to meet him yet.
I end up giving him a hard time because he kept going on about how everyone gets him wrong and that he s a genuinely nice guy who s a total dork.. and how he used to be 955lbs - but his pictures give me a different impression.
He s very tall, has tattoos on his arm, blonde hair, pretty muscular, had 7 pics up where he cropped out the woman, 7 that he took in his bathroom (ughs), and 7 at parties. He even looks a bit cunning to me (his eyes).
He looks like the type who would attract *censored*, cute, and long blond hair girls.
When I pointed out on how he s projecting a different image - one that attracts women who are into players - shortly after, he took down the pictures where he cropped the women and a party one.
Then I asked him what we had in common - and he took the time to go through my entire profile, and respond to a couple of things.
My gf s telling me to just go meet him, but I can t tell if 6) I m afraid of getting hurt again because he reminds me of Libra guy or 7) there is real danger, and he s all BS.
He messages me every day, and if we re both online, he ll message back within minutes. He seems to be taking all my criticisms well, and thinks I m strong-minded.
My gut is signaling something is off (otherwise I wouldn t be writing this at all) - but there s enough doubt in me to think there s a possibility I am throwing away a genuine guy who s misunderstood.
Do you think I can judge him based on how he looks (a player) and completely disregard his words about how caring and genuine he is? Or is it too soon to know?
I have no regrets cutting off the musician before even meeting as I felt like he wanted a fan-type of girl, but this Gemini am just really confused.
Coincidentally, both him and Libra guy have their mars in scorpio.
Hope you can help clear up some of my mental confusion, thanks so much!
Hi, I ve absolutely loved reading the advice and comments and now feel totally free in my understanding of a previous date. Although I think about him still, my emotions appear to be more rational and clear.
I spoke with a guy online, he initiated the conversation and at first was cautious as I m new to online dating and therefore trying to protect myself. Anyway, looking at his pictures, I didn t feel he was exactly what I would go for, but I decided to be humble and know his personality and discover more about interests. Anyway, it turns out we had so much in common and without my initiation, he mentioned what he was looking for in a girl and I found it really genuine as it was different to all the nonsense I ve heard both on and off line. He gave me his number and later after thinking about it sent a txt saying hi. During this period we txted back and fro but each day the txts were iniatied by him as I didn t want to come across as needy. He spoke about meeting up perhaps a wk or two after our initial contact which I later agreed, somehow in our conversations, he seemed to want to meet sooner and as I have a very spontaneous personality I didn t want a date that would be to intense and require endless conversations over a meal so arranged something giving him the option. Anyway, it turned out that moving our meeting date a week earlier is what he wanted, or steered the conversation too. He called me over the phone, and later we met up. I was extremely nervous as the date (not mine which was meant to happen several days later) took place, we had a great chat and was impressed that he remembered insignificant comments I had made, his body language was everything a girl looks for and he was open to discuss about his family, some personal and also his hopes. Anyway the event ended, and he was very keen to meet up again and was touchy feeling (not in a crude manner) and then kissed me. That night and for several hours he txt me saying he joined meeting me and loved the fact we had so much in common he actually txt syaing the things he looks for in a girl I had it and was looking forward to the opportunity to know me more. I replied saying appreciated his passions (work) and was glad to meet somehwere with shared interests.
The next day, hadn t heard from him, I was busy with work, so sent a message with a random comment about the weather and how he was doing. He didn t reply for a while and eventually did. As I had arranged a get together (prior to him changing to meet earlier). I wasn t sure whether to go ahead with it so I sent a message if he was still wanting to meet up. I received a reply saying something had come up at work requiring extra time for work but could it be arranged for the following week. my reply was short something like no problem .he hasn t responded since then. I spent the days really annoyed at myself because I thought I got to know someone who was genuine. he pursued me rather than I chasing him. but then something just drastically changed within half a day. could do with advice and encouragement.